Falling in love is like adding more meaning to your existence,here is a short narrative poetry which talks about why love is so fragile, why it is victimized by suspicion and above all why a woman sows these seeds.... could be, of possessiveness , could be fear of loosing your loved ones or simply could be lack of independence or envy about her mate.... even before she speaks, a woman would 'v thought a million times and lost so much of her liveliness into it... she mostly knows a simple language... behaves complex and expects the world to understand her...blames others.. live confined....many women suffer from silence letting their wroth unspoken or letting them turn into somebody else... her silence encourages and kills.... she thinks in all possible ways,
true and sometimes untrue notes....
if only she could speak her mind .. she'd be free from her own bonding and mend things beautifully in her life....
"There lived a love, a love of two,
who met each day and dwell'ed in fun...
Not more than thoughts and actions,
material matter with sincerity none.
Was that a love they deserved to livefinale themselves in songs and rings.
The bell rang loud with church doors wide,
flocking were people of society high.
They laughed and kissed, to bid the plane
which led them to a land where reality claimed.
Nights went on with days late on
and facts less known came to shone upon.
This insanity though spoke not much...
let suspicion grow and burn her heart.
She still, yet smiled and locked her pain,
to appreciate and admire his growing fame.
She wept all night and pained her days...
to fight herself , to go complain.
She knew nothing of his crook and view,
yet loved him more than words could explain.
Her sore lame eyes so scarlet and red
made him ask about her state unique.
she held her broth and spoke in high,
to scream at him and his criminal side.
She shattered her bits and tore feelings apart,,to scream aloud and leave him at last.
She did less know, that longer was she sane...
she screamed and screamed to run roads and every lane.
She declared to all , her pain and fall,
her betrayal and cheat, which made this all...
All of it she felt before, stayed with her
but with sanity no more....
It did not matter to people anymore
and lead her screams to grave alone."
-Kirthi
Well written dear..
ReplyDeletekya baat hai kirti & love.....user id & password missmatch...lol...
ReplyDeleteas i was reading the poem......i find a gradual increase in pain from starting to end.
a smooth gradual flow on pain in increasing order.
atleast the last 2 lines i m yet to experience.
why only feminie approach is taken in this poem?
As if this signifies that only females can fall to luv and bear the pain...shocking...
the last paragraph shocks the complete flow....the outburst of the lady .. though the reason quite unknown.
In Rockstar movie, in the beginning it is said that the pain of luv results in better, matured and touching songs.....I hope much more hearttouching poems can me seen by the writer.
Enjoy the pain of luv .. Kirti...let all see the shine of u through ur lines....Enjoy!!!!!!!
A small question.......is the usage of the word "insanity" justified here?
ReplyDeleteI never see any form of luv as insane....it s as pure as God & not Saturn, the follower of insane
i agree mostly a feminine shade of pain has been depicted.. it is so cos, firstly in a girl, secondly a woman experiences these quarrels within herself of whats right and wrong more oftener.. and since a woman is more prone to emotions she's the victim or victimizes herself even if its not her fault.... the over emotional and over thinking she does sometimes... hope i'v made it clear preenon...
ReplyDeleteit was insane because to me.. things would'v been better if the female character in this poem, discussed things openly with others.. but it did not happen.. that is what's insane... and not the fact that she lost her mind meanwhile... letting things bottled up and believing in it was insane...!!
ReplyDeleteyes kirti, & that s the reason why such females r more prone towards becoming insane (schizophrenic). The best example is the female at manasa, during our 2nd year practicals.......though she didnt say many things....many things were actually reflected by her words.
ReplyDeleteto sum extent the same thing has happened to my sister, well, i hav to try my best to bring her beck & i dont want this poem echoes through my sister.
Nicely molded the emotion into words. Good, it would have been much better if there would have been some romance flows and then the betrayal and then when she looses everything. The poem is too big but looks much more similar and common in all stanza ..starts with a feeling of break up, continues with same and ends with same too.
ReplyDeleteCritic -- Dino
the story is well said....but the pain which was borne by the woman can never be felt by any,,,,,the complexity and the dreams will remain forever with her...which was,,,,is,,,and always be a mystery!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry for the late Reply...ill have To Improve My Horizons On Thinking ,depicting, categorizing My Poetry... Thanks For Ur Valuable Comments..
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